we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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