I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Will exercising make me less horny?
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