see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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