is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
