omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
