Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
