there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
