just come out here and I will go home with you...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
