I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
