He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
