she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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