Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
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