Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
