you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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