well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
