well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
