She said her name was "party"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
