just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize