dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
