oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
