biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
