Dual....:-)
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
