It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
