as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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