I wish I could punch you in the face.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Can I color on your dick again?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
