Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
