She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
