Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
