At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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