so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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