Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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