Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
