Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
