I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
