Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Need sex. Gaining weight.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
this will be a night to untag.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
