I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
