So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
