Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
no, he came in my armpit
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
