thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i think my tv is drunk
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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