He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize