Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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