Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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