apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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