My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
