I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
