the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
