nut hugger
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Someone shattered a urinal.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
