I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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