I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
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