i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
this hospital has no fireball
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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