I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Sext me about skeletons
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
