Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
