glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize