i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize