we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
