omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
