Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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