then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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