very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
