You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
