I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
